With the Absence of the Light
by Serpentine Wisdom
Summary: Daisuke finds out that Dark has been keeping secrets and it leads to him telling his host about his past. DarkKrad


**With the Absence of the Light**

_Serpentine Wisdom_

**Warnings:** Male/male romance (sort of), violence, death and insanity (and I don't mean the ha-ha version). Also Dark is portrayed as a much darker character than in the anime.

**Author notes:** Takes place in the end of the anime series.

_/Dark's thoughts/_

'_Daisuke's/any Niwa's thoughts while connected to Dark'_

(Pieces out of Dark's life)

**Disclaimer: **I do not own D.N. Angel by Yukiru Sugisaki in any way or shape or any of its characters. I am not making any money on this fanfiction.

_How long will I be waiting?  
Until the end of time  
I don't know why I'm still waiting  
I can't make you mine  
_– Addicted, Simple Plan

_Why have you forsaken me,  
In your eyes forsaken me,  
In your thoughts forsaken me,  
In your heart forsaken, me oh,_

– Chop Suey, System of a Down

"Krad… you really don't hold back, do you?" Dark whispered softly to himself while examining the scorched skin on his stomach. "If I hadn't worn special protective gear for this job I would have a hole through my stomach by now."

He sighed and pushed himself up into a standing position on the black tin roof. This night had been an ordinary night for the infamous Kaitou Dark and his hunter only this time Dark had gotten a little too careless and almost bit the dust. Daisuke would have been terrified if he knew how serious the battles between Dark and Krad really were and Dark was grateful he had had the foresight to put him to sleep everytime they encountered the hunter. However everything Dark saw when Daisuke was his host was stored in the boy's memories so a little bit of alterations were necessary. Manipulating Daisuke's memories was low blow but surprisingly easy. For now at least Dark had some time to himself when he could think about the things he never wanted his tamer to know without worrying about shielding his thoughts.

"I'm not much better than you, am I Krad? I'm using my host for my own gain just like you're using yours," he said, sounding all too bitter for his own tastes. He glanced at his clock, still only 23.35 he didn't have to be back at the house for another hour. That would give him time to rearrange Daisuke's memories appropriately and remove the evidence that could prove contrary. He didn't really enjoy doing this but it was the only way he had to ensure his partner would continue performing his thieving missions. If the Niwa knew exactly how close Daisuke came to losing his life so often they wouldn't be so lenient. These modern day Niwa were too soft-hearted.

Dark had only one reason for existence and that was to be the perfect thief, an image of darkness sprung to life, but he, like most creatures, had a dream of his own. He wasn't supposed to have one, just like he wasn't supposed to have a heart or a real soul. He was just a work of art when it came down to the point, or rather, one half of an art piece. Darkness and Light… they were both extremes and both so completely clueless about the human world. Dark, who was the one closest to humanity of the two, didn't understand humans either. He drew most of his knowledge about them from his tamers even though he had difficulty understanding it. But thanks to his hosts, Daisuke especially, it was finally starting to make sense.

He and Krad were supposed to be contrasts but they were both drenched in darkness which made it so much more heart-wrenching when Dark remembered the times when Krad had really been the light he was meant to be. Krad had been kind and happy in his youth, oblivious to the world around him but _happy_ and _smiling_ and _laughing_ despite what he was put through. As the centuries passed though, the original Krad seemed to deteriorate more and more with each host. It was as if his contact with humanity was what was destroying him not only the pain the Hikari put him through. The world of mortals had made him bitter and cynical – not to mention hateful. It was a painful transformation to watch, to see the other half of his soul fall apart like that. He wanted the real Krad back, the one who wasn't hiding a devil's heart behind an angel's face.

"Why won't you wake up, Krad? Is this world really that horrible that not even a small piece of you can survive it?" He sighed again. "Not that it matters anymore."

_/Sometimes I wish we weren't ever released from Black Wings, Krad. That was the first time I lost you… in that very moment…/_

'_Dark? What are you talking about?'_

Dark stumbled and nearly fell of the roof in an uncharacteristic fit of clumsiness. _/Daisuke! You're not supposed to be awake yet/_

'_I… I already know that, Dark.'_

Dark nearly lost his balance on the roof at that in an uncharacteristic fit of clumsiness. _/Y–You know? But… how/_

'_Haven't anyone ever told you that nothing is ever forgotten? Just because I can't always access all of my memories doesn't mean they aren't there. At times like these when you're preparing to… _alter_ my memories I can remember almost everything that you've tried to make me forget but If you go though with this, I'll forget everything again.'_

_/I see/_ Dark thought and sat down on the roof again. _/I presume you want some answers now/_

'_Of course I do. Why can't you trust me with this? Mom and Grandpa know what we do is dangerous, they wouldn't stop us just because it became a little bit more dangerous.'_

_/The Niwa have stopped me before, I can't take the risk of them stopping me now when Krad is out there./_ Dark rubbed the back of his head exasperatedly. _/Jeez, I don't really know where to begin./_

'_How about the beginning? I don't really know all that much about you so you could just start with your creation.'_

_/Yeah, I guess that's a good start. As you've probably already guessed Krad and me are both an Hikari artwork. You remember that I told you Krad is my antithesis, right!_

'_Mm.'_

_/Well there's more to it than that. Krad is… Krad is… he's the other half of my soul and I mean that literally. You see he and I were created from the same piece of art, a sculpture called Black Wings. Black Wings was one of the largest projects any Hikari has ever attempted and it was the most powerful. It took several years to complete it and several generations of the Hikari worked on it. They put so much energy into it that in the end they couldn't have stopped creating it even if they wanted to, Black Wings forced them to continue. Day and night they would slave over it, some even forgot to sleep and eat. They quite literally worked themselves to death over it. _

_/But Black Wings wasn't forcing them out of malice, it was the Hikari themselves that had designed it to be that way unintentionally with their obsession of creating the ultimate artwork. The Niwa, even back then a family of thieves, heard about this secret artwork that was said to be impossible to see, much less steal, and they saw it as a challenge. About five hundred years ago three of them attempted to steal it, but at that moment Black Wings was in the middle of the last ritual before it's completion. Their presence interfered at a crucial moment and Krad and I were separated and mixed into the genes of the only survivors. Hikari Yuki and Niwa Sae._

_/Since they were both female neither Krad nor I could take over their bodies. Niwa Sae fled the scene quickly, unsuspecting of that her son would be the first Kaitou Dark. Hikari Yuki, however, knew very well what would happen and she hated Krad for being a part of the power that had killed her family. Out of fear and hatred she sealed the Black Wings and attempted to seal Krad, the later in which she obviously failed./_

'_That almost makes me feel sorry for Krad. To be hated from the moment you're born… I can't imagine how that would feel like.'_

Dark sighed. The Hikari had done a lot more then just hate Krad but he didn't want to be too descriptive with Daisuke. It was too private. Perhaps he was smart enough to realize that Krad hadn't originally been the Hikari's curse but been made into that by the Hikari themselves until neither side remembered exactly what had started their loathing of each other. Dark still remembered hearing Krad's screams echoing through their bond, unable to do anything about it. The first generation he had been unable to even influence his not-quite-host Sae Niwa and when she finally had a son Krad was too far away for Dark to reach him. Dark had almost gone mad himself feeling Krad's pain. What was worse was that he hadn't even known then exactly who or what he had this connection with.

_/Yeah, sucks doesn't it? I had an easier time than he had. The Niwa weren't as uptight as the Hikari and it didn't take long for them to realize that I could be useful. I was only a tool to most of them but I was a valued tool and that makes all the difference in the world./_

But that did not mean that he had liked them. To the Niwa Dark had never been a real person, just a tool like a knife or a lock-pick. They used him until he had nothing left to give and he used them right back. If he closed his eyes he could still remember his own caged-animal anger at the family. Their bodies were his prisons and they were his jailers. A long time ago, he had used the same methods as Krad to force his way out of his hosts' bodies, as ungently and painfully as possible. They were always awake for the entire time he controlled them because he wanted them to suffer like he did.

He couldn't recall any longer what had slowly changed his opinion of them, when he stopped seeing them all as the ones keeping him from his freedom. He did remember that Daisuke's grandfather was the first one he had honestly cared for as a friend not only a business partner. Friend, it still felt odd to think about himself as someone who could have those.

Daisuke's mental voice was silent for a moment before hesitatingly asking: _'Dark, if Yuki-san hated Krad and she knew what would happen if she ever had a son or anyone of her line had one, why did she chose to have children?'_

_/She didn't have much of a choice. She had been engaged, against her will, even before Krad and I were drawn out of Black Wings and her husband was not a kind man. He didn't believe her when she told him the reason why she didn't want to bear him an heir and so he raped her./_

'_What! How could he do that?'_

_/Very easily. Humans aren't creatures of either light or darkness but of the grey in-between and that makes them more unpredictable and dangerous in nature than any artwork../_

'_Dark…'_

_/It's true. I've watched humanity for several centuries and very few can rise above their own weaknesses, it isn't that they mean to be cruel or petty or selfish, they can't help themselves./_

Dark didn't say anything more about the subject but he knew that Daisuke could feel the tight little ball filled with contempt and dark undercurrents that he couldn't quite place. It was a terrible feeling, a swelling, breathing monster in their chest. That was how Daisuke saw it, to Dark it was a familiar emotion, an old companion.

'_We're not like that, Dark!' _His host protested._ 'Riku-san, Harada-san, Saehara, mom, dad and Grandpa, we're not like that! How can you say that Dark! I can't believe you have so little faith in us.'_

Dark yankeditaway quicklyand tucked it into a safe place where no outsider could reach. The terrible feeling dissipated and genuine regret, or as close to regret as Dark could come, trickled through their link. _/Forgive me, Daisuke. Sometimes I'm too cynical for my own good and I get carried away./_

Daisuke's feelings seemed to calm themselves, even though a tinge of hurt remained. _'Mm. But Dark, what happened after that?'_

_/It would take two generations before I met Krad again. To be honest I didn't really remember him from Black Wings, all I knew was that we shared some strange connection, and I'm sure it was the same for him but there was this empty feeling in my heart, like I was missing something very important. When we finally met… you can say it was love at first sight, for me at least./_

(Dark was walking through the streets of Berlin, he was on his way to a rich merchant's house to steal a famous painting that the man had given his wife as a an anniversary present. The merchant would probably never have been able to acquire it if it weren't for his contacts with the Hikari family. Dark's fingers were already twitching with excitement for the job when he walked past someone with incredibly long blond hair pulled up in a horsetail.

The character looked out of place in the gritty streets with his expensive white aristocrat clothes. Dark slowed down his pace for another look, mostly out of curiosity, but as soon as he did the world seemed to freeze in place and his breath caught in his throat. He had never seen anyone like this before, almost glowing from the pure, concentrated energy within him. He reminded Dark of himself vaguely, but different. Somehow he knew that he had been waiting for this person… he knew him, he was sure of it… he–)

'_You… you were **in** **love** with **Krad**? But don't you hate each other and what about all those girls you always flirt with! And that kiss with Harada-san! Oh, and Rika. Didn't you call her the only woman you ever loved?'_

_/I did love Rika only not in the way you mean. Rika was the first one to really teach me about human emotions. I've always loved Krad, long before I had a mind of my own, but I am just one half of a sculpture. That's all I am. Just because I look human without my wings does not mean that I can think or feel like one does. The Hikari poured their energy and emotions into Black Wings but what they created wasn't human. _

_/I know you think of me as a relatively harmless older brother, Daisuke, but you have no idea of what I've done over the centuries. You have to remember I've existed for a very long time compared to you. There isn't much I haven't seen or done. I've killed humans, Daisuke. I'm not innocent and I never have been./_

Dark paused feeling the reeling sense of shock run through Daisuke's soul. He could already see the questions lining up in his host's mind. He was certain Daisuke could get over this and if not… he wouldn't remember any of it either way. Dark would not let himself be sealed up again, not when he was so close. He wouldn't let them steal any more of his freedom… not even for Daisuke.

'_Why– how **could** you?'_

Dark smiled wistfully at the silver orb of the moon, hanging in the dark night sky, and hesitated a little bit before answering. /_Say Daisuke, do you think of me as dark? I'm a thief, a liar and a murderer, my honour can change in a heartbeat to suit my own interests and I've never been one for fair play_ _– am I not a perfect example of darkness/_

'_What does that have to do with it?'_

_/Don't you ever listen? Let me repeat myself. I am the **dark** half of a magical sculpture a.k.a I'm not human. Don't you understand? I look like a human, I talk, walk and sleep like a human but there is more to being human that looking like one. I couldn't think like one and I couldn't feel like one. Since I'm practically immortal I had no understanding of death and because of that I could kill at the drop of a hat without guilt. Hell, I didn't even _know_ what guilt was./_

(An old woman screaming, a dead body on the ground blood slowly flowing out underneath it and a young girl, not old enough yet to be called a woman, stared after a dark, winged creature silhouetted by the moon as it fled.)

_/Do you feel guilty after killing a fly, Daisuke? You don't because you don't consider a fly's life as valuable. They're irritating, ugly and quite useless to you, aren't they? But you would never treat a cat or a rabbit like that because you find them cute and adorable and they would scream if you hurt them. To me only a few people were cats and rabbits the majorities of them were flies and why would I care if a fly died? The Niwa tried to explain the sanctity of life to me over and over again but I never quite understood it. It was Rika who eventually showed me the value of a life, however insignificant it might seem and I can't help but both love and hate her for it./_

("Why can't you understand, Dark! Their lives aren't worthless, they have families, people who love them." A young woman with silky, long brown hair shook her head, tears flowing down her delicately beautiful face. "Why don't you understand that no one has the right to take someone else's life," she said pleadingly, letting a hand reach out towards his back before falling limply by her side.

The cocky, dark-haired man she was talking to, if he could be called such, turned around, a lazy little smirk playing at his lips. "Rika, I can't claim that I understand why you're upset about. Things die all the time that's nature. But if it makes you happy I'll find something valuable and steal it for their families or something like that."

"You can't measure someone's life with money or treasure, Dark. I guess you'll never understand. It's too difficult to explain this to someone who doesn't value anyone more than a few paintings and money," she said with a calm and steady voice, in stark contrast to her downcast eyes. Rika didn't want to believe he could be so heartless and not even realize it but she supposed if anyone was to blame it was those who created him and still never gave him the ability to feel compassion.

Dark's oddly inhuman eyes seemed to darken as they stared into hers and for the first time she saw something akin to pain in there but it was soon gone and she was left to wonder if it had been her imagination.)

'_Dark–'_

_/I'm not done yet. Not only am I not human I was created to be **darkness incarnate** and unless you're feeling a bit slow today you'll realize that darkness was never warm and fluffy./ _More confidently he continued. _/About the flirting and such, I thought you would understand by now that I'm not really serious about any of them, it's just a way of passing time. I don't honestly care, because male or female none of them are Krad. No one can compare… Why do you think I actually bothered to start sending out notes to say when and where I'd strike next? So Krad would be able to find me more easily./_

'_You don't have to love just Krad in your entire life. I had a talk with Grandpa once and he told me it is only natural to love more than one person in your life.'_

_/For me, there is only one. I've been in this world about five hundred years and I've never cared about anyone as much as I care about Krad. Gah, this conversation is becoming so depressing./_

'_Did you, you know… get together?'_

_/Yeah, we did/_ Dark said wistfully, remembering that day when he'd finally gathered up enough courage to talk to his blonde counterpart. _/About a hundred and fifty years after we first met again./ _Then his mind darkened as he remembered how it had ended. _/But it didn't last very long, only about sixty years or so. I tried **so** hard… I– I really did try to save him…/_

'_From what?'_

_/Himself./_ And the Hikari, Dark added silently inside.

'_What?'_

_/Just like I was created to be Darkness Krad was created to be Light but the Hikari twisted that… they… broke him with their hatred and their magic. When I first met Krad all he wanted was to return both of us to Black Wings so he could finally die. The Hikari hated him but it was nothing compared to how much he hated himself. He had already tried to end his life, as had his hosts, but they had realised that unless both of us died it wouldn't quite work the way they wanted it to./_

(Blood was pooling up beneath Krad's back where he laid, arms at his side, broken wings in odd angles. It was a strangely peaceful look on his face. "I thought I had finally accepted my fate," he told Dark who was standing next him, unsure what he was supposed to do. "But when I met you… I could not hold back. You were my opportunity to die and I tried to take it. Why does it always end like this?)

_/I was the one who convinced Krad that life was worth living; that is why he hates me now./_

'_Why?'_

_/Don't you understand, Daisuke? I was **too** late… I was too late to save him. The Hikari had already won; Krad wasn't the pure light he was meant to be anymore. They had created a taint inside of him and over the years it grew and festered within him like a tumour until it became too much. His suicidal tendencies came back just a few weeks before he snapped. I was afraid to leave him alone so I forced my host to spend all his time either spying on Krad or his host._

_/I was only gone for a few hours when he lost it. I came back to find a Krad that wanted nothing more than to kill me so he could die – and even that purpose twisted itself over the years, though I didn't think it was **possible** for it to get **worse** but it did./_

("Why won't you let me die! Can't you see that I hate you? I _hate_ you." Krad 's voice faded out for a little while when Dark barely dodged a frazzling lightning ball thrown at him. "Why… _why_ won't you… let me hate you.")

'_Is that why you dislike Satoshi-kun? Because he reminds you of what the Hikari did to Krad?'_

_/Partially. Partially because he has what I will never have./_

'_I don't understand.'_

_/'You're my everything, Satoshi-sama…' that's what he says./_ Dark said after a while.

("Promise me, other half of my soul, please," he asked, "that you won't do anything dangerous on purpose. I don't ever want to lose you. Not to anything or anyone."

Krad laughed and placed a long fingered hand on the rough material of his jacket sleeve. "I don't need to make any promises, Dark, we belong to each other. Nothing will ever change that. Stop worrying so much.")

'_You're jealous?'_ Daisuke thought sounding surprised. _'Because he has Krad?'_

_/Don't sound so surprised, Daisuke. I'm Darkness vices are my thing. But back to the story, even if I loved Krad more than anything else I wasn't quite ready to see either of us die yet. I tried my best to talk to him at first but that only made him more frantic. The first time we fought for real he injured himself more than he did me… he… he even tired to rip his eyes out screaming that the light was burning them up./_

(An image of a white dressed man with long blond hair, matted with blood, and a pair of wings on his back so breathtakingly white that they almost blinded him. The man was laughing where he stood on the ledge of a tall building, swaying softly as if he listened to a voice no one else could hear. His demeanour suddenly changed and he screamed out something that was lost in the wind. A shaking hand was slowly brought up to a pale face streaming with silent, ignored tears. The wide, manic grin seemed as out of place on that beautiful angelic face as the mangled arm hanging limply on his right side was, blood dripping from it. Drip, drips, dripping down the tin roof and disappearing down the drain in a macabre whirlpool of red. The fingers of his left hand, for once free from the white gloves he had always adored so much, dug into the skin underneath his…) **(1)**

'_Wha – what… oh God oh God oh God.'_ Daisuke felt so ill he couldn't even complete his sentence. Dark could feel him curling up in a ball, refusing to see any more of Dark's memories. Daisuke had never seen much violence it was understandable if he couldn't handle any more. Truth was that Dark had not intended to share quite that much and he forcefully stopped the image before it became more disturbing. His host was too innocent to see things like that even if Dark's view of humanity was less then stellar he couldn't help but care for the naive, red-haired boy that he lived in.

_/I stopped him before he could do any permanent damage./_ Dark said._ /I knocked him out cold and was about to take him back with me to a safe place. I was desperate to get him back to his old self but I couldn't exactly start reason with him in the middle of the street or in a battle. I needed a more confined and private area. What I hadn't really counted on was the other Hikari appearing and taking him before I had the chance to. I didn't see him for a decade after that. I tried every place I knew the Hikari had but he was gone… just gone. I couldn't even feel him over our mental link. It was almost as if he was dead._

_/I met him again when I was about to steal a painting made by one of the greatest Hikari artists of the time. 'The Sting of Betrayal' by Hikari Tousou ironically enough. When he caught me in the act I could hardly believe he was there and embraced him the minute after he said my name. We stood like that for a little while before… he stabbed me in the back with an enchanted dagger./_

/Holding Krad in his arms was like becoming whole again, he reflected. The feel of his thin body pressed against Dark's owns, the smell of his hair. He had found something precious that he should never have lost and for the first time in many long years Dark relaxed. Which is why he was completely unprepared for the cold steel that slid in between his shoulderblades only a second later.)

'_What?'_

_/Haven't you ever wondered why I have to rely on With? That dagger stopped me from releasing and controlling my wings. Technically I am supposed to be able to do it with the help of a host but there has to be in a specific situation that I'm not allowed to tell anyone about. With is great but he cannot replace my own wings and without them I can't keep up with Krad in the air or use my magic to its fullest capacity._

_/He knew that… of course he did, it was **why** he used it. This_ **_version_** _of Krad is the one you're familiar with after all. He would do anything to bring me down. But at the time I was too stunned at what he had done to counterattack since the Krad I knew had never seriously tried to kill me in cold blood. He had been violent at times but those had been small bursts of raw emotion, when he couldn't control himself. Even then he never tried to seriously kill me even if he was trying to convince himself it was something he had to do._

_/The new Krad was cold and calculating… and he was under the influence of **Hikari** magic. They had finally found something that affected him, a brand new_ **_invention_** _of the Hikari of the time. You can hear what it does just from its name: Soul breaker. I don't know what they were trying to accomplish to this day; maybe they thought that if they shattered him they would be able to pick him off piece by piece from their line._

_/I escaped from Krad confused, angry and flightless. There was no doubt that he was Krad but I refused to believe that the one I knew, the one that had come out of Black Wings with me, would ever do sometime like that and find it_ _**amusing**. I took it upon myself to sneak around the Hikari main buildings where I found the papers they had on Krad. He had told me some of what happened to him but I discovered that he had never told me everything. The more I read the more I hated them. I hated every fucking Hikari alive so much that it became a physical ache./_

(Wait. Be patient. He will come this way, this source has never been wrong before. Tousou always walks through this alleyway to get to his house and he always walks alone. Dark's heart was calm in his chest, not even so much as a trace of nervousness stirred his blood, he had been waiting for half an hour now. Tousou was said to be very fussy about punctuality but he wanted to be here in good time before the Hikari arrived. Niwa Akira was sound asleep in their head and wouldn't be interrupting, it was a rather nifty trick that Dark had learned from Krad.

When the clock struck nine Hikari Tousou appeared around the corner like clockwork. He was walking at a moderate pace in the traditionally white clothes the Hikari wore. He wasn't especially tall but not extremely short either and fairly fit for someone who spent the majority of their day locked up in his mansion painting. He could have been labelled attractive with his short, pale blue hair and grey eyes but there were dark circles underneath his eyes and his face was haggard as if he had not been sleeping well lately.

_/To bad, I was hoping there would be more Hikari with him/_ Dark thought, smirking down at the man that was most likely completely unaware of his fate. The wind pulled at his dark purple hair and with a speed that no human could ever hope to match he appeared before Tousou who was startled into moving backwards. As soon as the surprise sunk into his mind he stopped abruptly and appeared to silently chide himself for showing his surprise.

"Sir, I would appreciate if you moved out of my way as I am in a hurry," he said in the cold, precise tone of someone who was wound much too tightly.

"I can't do that," Dark said and in one fluid movement the painter found himself slammed face first up against the stone wall, his arms held behind his back.

"Who are you? A thief?" Tousou gasped out, blood running down the left side of his face from a newly mad wound on his forehead. "If you want money I'll give it to you."

"I'm afraid it isn't that easy," Dark said. "And I'm not fool enough to let you free to use your magic. Not that you could even scratch me but it would be annoying if I had to spend any more energy on you than I had to."

"Then what are you after?" Tousou asked, perspiration trickling down his neck even as he bristled at the insult.

Dark switched his hold on the Hikari to a one handed grip and pulled a small knife out of the inside of his right boot. As the edge of the blade was out against the Hikari's throat. A raw tingle of pleasure ran down his spine as he thought of killing this man, he had not been one of the worst Hikari but he had been there. He had watched and given orders, even if he himself had never bothered to dirty his hands. The knife's edge was sharp enough to draw blood from the pale neck of the master painter even though it barely touched his skin.

"Does the name Black Wings ring a bell?" He asked quietly.

"Is that as this is about? That failed experim–" the knife moved closer and Tousou's voice faltered. " –ent. I don't know how you have heard of him but he was too dangerous to be left alone. Something had to be done."

Dark chuckled slightly. "Hikari-san, Hikari-san," he said, "you disappoint me. Where is the perceptive ability that your family is famed for? Have you forgotten that there are _two_ manifestations of Black Wings?"

Tousou drew in a sharp breath as he realised who it was that had him at knifepoint. "You– "

The smile on Dark's face widened and all thoughts about mercy and the value of life that he had learned were long gone. All that was left was the rage of an immortal being of the infinite Darkness. "Me," he said agreeably. "But Hikari-san, before you die there is something I've been _dying_ to ask you. How does it _feel_ to know that your life is in the hands of someone who hates you.")

_/Did you know that I'm the reason why the detective is the only Hikari left?. I hunted down every Hikari alive involved in Krad's suffering and_ **_change of heart_**./ the last words came out as a growl. _/I killed them, and I enjoyed it. The rage over everything they had done to Krad and through him to me clouded my mind whenever I saw them. A very small number that had nothing to do with Krad and Krad's host, naturally, were spared. But the **famous** Hikari clan dwindled from several dozen members to barely a handful in less than five years. That was when the Niwa, who had somehow developed a conscience while I was concentrating on Krad and the Hikari, put a stop to it./_

('_This can't go on, Dark! This is not revenge, it's systematic butchering.' _Akira burst out. _'It's slaughter and you know it.'_

_/So/_ Was Dark's casual response. _/They don't deserve anything better. Let them die like pigs in their own filth./_

'_I won't let you do this anymore, please Dark, regain your senses! I'll have to tell the clan head unless you shape up.'_

In his mental room Dark stirred violently. _/Niwa-san, I am **not** your lap dog, don't treat me as if I am. I do as I please when a please and if the Niwa get in my way… /_)

_/They changed the way of my transformation. I could no longer take over whenever I felt like it. No, the boy had to be fourteen and I was only able to change into me when he was having romantic feelings of some kind. And when he had managed to consummate that love… through holding hands, a kiss, hearing his love was returned or whatever I was banished until the next Niwa boy came along. I hate to admit it but it was something that had to be done. I was out of control. There were times that I was so focused on my hatred that I forgot who I was. By the time I managed to cool off enough for Niwa to live in the same country as the Hikari the only existing Hikari was the host line._

_/That's why the Hikari started using Krad as my own personal hunter… to make me pay for my sins, they said. They always neglect to mention their own. Officially it was because of the paintings and art I stole for the Niwa –who were now sealing it rather than selling it like they had in the beginning– because they refused to admit that I had so much power over them that I could destroy their pathetic family. And do it so easily when I was just one of their artworks. I'm surprised that the detective hasn't talked about why he's so eager to catch me with you yet. He must assume you know._

_/For the last hundred and…eighty (I think) years Krad and I have been fighting each other like this. I realised very early that it's impossible to reason with him anymore. The Hikari have made me the focus for all of his hatred and self-loathing. I don't really know what to do. Killing doesn't help anything that's at least one thing I've learned. Take that to heart Daisuke, only kill in self-defence_ **_never_** _for revenge or hate. But you wouldn't fall for that trap, would you? You're a much better person than I ever was. Sometimes I wish I could be like you…/_ He trailed off.

_/I'm so sorry that I have to do this to you Daisuke but I can't take any chances./_ Dark finished and locked away Daisuke's memories of what he had been told and tonight's mission. It was easy work to make a new memory out of the old one for Dark and soon enough he woke Daisuke up again with a snap of his fingers. It would be like their conversation had never happened until the day they separated, then Daisuke would have all his memories back.

'_Wow, Dark. That was really close, Krad almost hit us with that attack. It looked really nasty.'_

Dark fingered the scorched material on his stomach. _/Yeah, almost. You can take a nap now, kid. I'll get us home./_

He felt Daisuke's presence lull of into sleep, the chaotic state of his emotions wiped clean. Dark regretted that he had lied to the boy, it wasn't like he would have remembered it anyway. He knew very well what he was going to do about Krad and he knew that Daisuke was going to be against it. The only way to heal Krad was to start from the inside and that meant Black Wings and it was a very powerful piece, it could harm quite a lot of people. It was somewhere in this city, he could feel it. But the question was where?

To suffer for love… that was practically a natural law in the world, he had been foolish to hope that it would be different this time. But he was finally ready to do what had to be done. Dark no longer cared what he had to do, whose life he had to risk… he would bring back the old Krad whatever it took. He liked the humans somewhat more now that he had met the better side of them but Krad was his other half. If he had to cut Krad's wings off, if he had to beat him down a thousand times before he could help him then so be it. Dark was through playing nice-nice with Krad.

"It's slightly ironic that you almost hate me as much as I love you now. But I don't care about that anymore because it isn't really you, is it? So hate me all you like because I hate you, too, fake. I hate what they have made you into. But I'll always love you, whatever you do to me or yourself – I really can't help myself, Krad. This had better work because I'm all out of ideas."

**OoOoOoO**

_/Daisuke/_

'_What?'_

_/No, never mind./_

Daisuke felt the tears rather than he saw them and with them came a sudden rush of unexpected memories. He suddenly knew more about Dark and Krad and their bitter 'I hate you–I love you' story than he had ever wanted to know. He knew how Krad looked when he smiled, I daisy tucked behind his ear. He knew the way his soft, soft lips felt against Dark's own. He knew suddenly with absolute certainty that Krad liked cats and the colour blue, that he couldn't stand it when Dark smoked and always complained about it but that Dark continued smoking anyway just to hear Krad being concerned about him.

He knew every inch of his blonde enemy's body because Dark did from experience and it made the Niwa blush furiously and out of sight at the thought of what they had done together. He hadn't known _that_ was even possible. Krad's likes and dislikes were suddenly an open book because Dark had taken the time to learn them over the centuries. Instead of the cynical and bitter Dark that the thief told a young Niwa about on a roof top only a few days ago he saw a happy young being, not quite human but not nearly as monstrous as he made himself out to be. Not until Krad was… _ruined_.

He had been learning, slowly, what was right and what was wrong and how to recognise them when it all shattered. Krad had been his guide, partially, and his reason to better himself. To strive for something else than just his own selfish satisfaction and be more than what he had been designed to be. When Krad started falling apart, so did Dark's belief in good and so did his hard-won morals.

In his eyes a world that could contaminate someone as pure as Krad so easily and carelessly… didn't deserve anything. A people that broke a kind soul (Krad) for something he could not control did not deserve his sympathy. Daisuke saw all of the reasons that Dark had hid even from himself. Dark was never meant to have a heart and he was never meant to care for anything but the vices and sins that came along with the territory of Darkness. But he did have them and he centred it all on Krad. Dark was the Darkness. Krad was the Light. And without the light, the darkness was at loss.

Clinging desperately to his all-consuming hatred Dark became the monster of the Hikaris' nightmares. Because Krad had been the core of Dark's heart and sanity there was nothing Dark wouldn't have done for him but with as far gone as Krad had become... Killing the Hikari members was the only thing he could do at a time when he lost himself and everything that made him who he was. It had been wrong, so incredibly wrong that it made Daisuke ache inside. All that pain and death… nothing would ever be able to rationalise it. But if Dark and Krad had had bodies of their own, if the Hikari and Niwa had accepted them as Daisuke and his Grandpa and mother did… how much differently would not things have played out?

But it was too late for ifs or what-could-have-beens.

Even if Dark didn't really deserve any respite from pain or a new chance at happiness Daisuke still hoped that he would be able to save Krad in Black Wings. But Krad was not the only one in need of saving. He wished with all his might that they would be able to spend the rest of their time in each other's hearts that was the only forgiveness they ever would have.

**The End**

**(1)** This is the only memory/whatever that Daisuke actually sees. That's why he doesn't react to any of the others.


End file.
